Happy Valentines Day

Picture Courtesy: www.gapingvoid.com

Picture Courtesy: http://www.gapingvoid.com

Umm… I am so lazy… I open my only one eye lid… uh where my watch is… looking for it ah… 6:30 AM in the morning. A very happy Valentines day to me. I look for light – no electricity. Quick decision in split second. I won’t be going to college. Why? No light means no electricity means no geezer means no hot water means no bathing means bad odour all the day means girls running away from me means bad valentine day. Take a breathe. I just want to say I don’t want to have bad Valentines Day.

I like sleeping, so I did until 10:00 am in the morning. After waking up, went through the regular brushing, bathing (light was back by then, damn local electricity department), changing, television, fighting (for the remote, of course) and finally getting bored. I think nothing special about this valentine day. Why these people make such hypes? I thought until my friend called me up “Hi! Dude, where are you? I am waiting in the park. Come let’s do some fun. Local guys are protesting against valentine day, why not join them?” (Our India is a country of protests; we like to protest, demonstrate, revolt continuously about something without ever stopping. Even if we have no reason, so what, we invent our own reasons. Many people say we try to ape west, and valentine day is also a part n parcel of westernization. So, on Valentines Day many people protested against it blah blah blah)

As I reached the park, a guy was distributing free posters “Stop Valentine. Save Culture”, “Say no to Valentine Day, preserve cultural values”. I grabbed one from it, and stood in a line, next to my friend, as I whispered, “Why we are here? I want to celebrate it and I am not against it.” He gave me a silly look, “Celebrate? With whom? You don’t have a girl friend” I replied, “but you have, then why are you against it. Go celebrate it with your gal” “Shut up, you idiot, I am here because I am against it. What valentine day, I have to spend my whole pocket money on buying gifts for a silly girl who keep calling me to remind that she’s my girl friend and keep crying ‘I can never understand her’.” He Explained.

Then I asked another guy, “Why on the earth you are so against the valentine day?” he explained he hates some guy and that guy has flower shop. So, during this season (i.e. valentine) his business starts booming, I want valentine day to be stopped, so his business get sucked. I discovered later on, none of them was against valentine day. Oh I forgot to introduce another guy, name not known, but he is here protesting with us because his wife really makes him sick. He just wants to time pass, so he has came here to protest.

We did lot of things, we hacked valentine cards into small pieces and burnt them, we razed buildings, burned flowers, made traffic jam and a lot like that. And when I was tired I returned home.

Sitting on bed, I picked my phone and called my girl friend, “Hello, sweet heart, happy valentines day”. LOL. I lied the last one.


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